It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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