i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
