u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
