i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize