Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
