I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
vagina is talking i cant
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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