I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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