I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think people are normalizing furries
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
