there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
