I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
