Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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