I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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