I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize