so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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