I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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