Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
