even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
