Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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