I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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