Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
