Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize