im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
