well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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