I need help removing her.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
