Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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