Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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