I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
