I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
