I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
