Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize