wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
