Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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