i don't like sucking hair
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
