i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
