Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
