True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
