Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
