I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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