I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You don't make any sense
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