i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
