I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just tell him i said nine months
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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