There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
