Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize