Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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