What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
