is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
