This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize