There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
