i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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