The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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