just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
