Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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