she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize