billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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