ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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