I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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