I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
