butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Umm I'm too high to move.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
