I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
