All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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