I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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