2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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