Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
