When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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